What I won't do!
1. Over the top retouching. You are human, and should look that way.
2. The creepy Eyes. Eyes should convey emotion, not scare away crows.
3. Crazy Fad colors. Your pictures should 'age' naturally. If you like the picture below check out instagram
4. Over Saturate. The world should look natural, not like it was made with fluorescent play dough.
5. Selective Coloring. Please don't ask, ever!
6. Heavy Vignette, or white vignette. I'm sorry, but i'm not going to hide half the photo with silly gimmicks.
7. Texture. (See number 3)
8. Blow out the skin tones. I know this blown out look has become popular, but why pay me to NOT show your face.
9. Lens flares. I don't even know where this button is.
(Obviously that's not true. I made the example, but pretend I don't know)
10. Underexposed, dark moody images. If you want moody, we will set up the scene and photograph it moody. But I won't ruin your photos after the fact.
To sum up. Your images should look natural, and make you look great.